About a month ago my husband bought me an early Christmas present  - a shiny new Macbook. It is the prettiest little laptop with backlit keys and a glowing apple on the lid. Anyone who has used a Mac (especially a new one) understands the learning curve that I have had to climb to navigate my way through Appleland. I felt like a fish out of water for the first few days. Life was so much easier on my PC! Trying to work on my new laptop has been an adventure, but it isn’t going to keep me from working, playing, communicating  and  learning.

When you have been teaching piano lessons for nearly 20 years, you have heard every excuse imaginable at least twice. “It’s easier on my keyboard/piano” has got to be the most common phrase uttered by students during a lesson. Some students have century old pianos at home that have easy action, or a small keyboard at home which requires little muscle to play. Coming to the studio to play on my full size piano would be a little tricky and unsettling….the first time…..ok and maybe for the first 5 minutes of every lesson. Imagine having to play in front of an examiner or an audience on a piano you have never touched before!  This is what is expected of students/musicians.

So how can you be prepared to play on any instrument you may be faced with? The best advice is to play on many different pianos, as many as you can!  Play at a friend’s house, in a music store, at your church or town hall. Perform as much as you can. When you play for others you don’t have time to focus on the comfort level that the instrument provides – you are too busy producing beautiful music! : )

Now that I am accustomed to my new Macbook. When I sit in front of a PC I need to remember that the skills required to run the machine are a little different (I won’t get into the PC/Mac debate here…but Macs are easier…just saying…). I use the experience I have working with both machines, and produce the best work I can.  I encourage students to do the same when faced with a new instrument. Use the knowledge, skill and experience you have and just do your best!

Happy Music Making!!

Being a perfectionist or living with one can be difficult. Imagine walking through life unable to try something new because of a monumental fear that you may not do it perfectly on the first try. Imagine being unable to finish any given task because you just don’t feel it is good enough. Imagine stifling the learning and creativity of your child because you just can’t let go of the fact that they need the freedom to make their own mistakes and learn from them. I see all of these scenerios every week in my studio.

Let me begin with the perfectionist parent. Some of us know who we are…yes I too have struggled with perfectionism my whole life. I didn’t think it was an issue for me anymore until I recently heard a lecture on perfectionism by Clayton Scott After hearing the first 10 minutes of her lecture I realized that am still struggling with being a perfectionist in some areas of life.

So, the perfectionist parent – in the music class – may be seen doing the following (all with the best of intentions of course). Remember, I am a struggling perfectionist so I may have been guilty of a few of these with my own children at one time or another. The following behaviors could prevent your child from progressing  and/or developing strong self esteem - ironically the very thing parents are trying to avoid.

• may take over tasks meant for the child to complete.. eg. can’t handle sloppy colouring so will colour for the child or fix the child’s colouring, do or “fix” cutting assignments
• give their child the answer when the child is asked a question in class without giving the child a chance to think or the teacher a chance to guide the child’s thinking to reach the answer
• when playing ensemble (and likely when practicing) will press the keys for their child or say every letter name or tell their child to just stop playing if they make a mistake or get extremely frustrated if a mistake is made. Will not let the child have a sticker if a mistake is made.
• will make excuses for their child,  often when the child’s performance, answer or work was acceptable or even well done.

The perfectionist student.

• asks their parent to complete colouring/cutting tasks for them or become extremely upset if they make a mistake (colour outside the line or cut a piece off that shouldn’t have been cut)
• has difficulty/resists playing ensemble because they cannot handle making a mistake. They can’t get past that and carry on.  In extreme cases a tantrum will ensue – distracting the rest of the students in the room.
• take a very long time to complete a task because first they must feel confident with what is being asked before they even begin. Then the task must be completed to perfection (in their eyes)
• resist attempting  a new skill, especially in class
• have difficulty with performances – may even stop half way through a performance if a mistake is made

Now of course there is a whole spectrum of perfectionism and according to  Scott there are three main types of perfectionists. The bottom line is being a perfectionist can inhibit learning and developing creativity. So what can we do if our child is a perfectionist and what if we ourselves are perfectionist?

Moms and Dads, grit your teeth and allow your child to complete creative tasks on their own. Look the other way if you must, sit on your hands concentrate on the beautiful colour your child chose or the way your child is holding the scissors or how confidently they are completing the task. Look for the specific things that your child is doing well and avoid generalized comments like “that was good”. Try something like “I loved how you made sure your thumb was in the sky when you were cutting!”

Please do not give your child the answer to a “class question”. Give your child the chance to accomplish something by allowing them to think it through. This is one area of class for which children will NEVER need parental help. The parent’s role in the class is so important but feeding answers to your child is not one of those roles. In fact in doing this parents not only keep their own child from having a chance to shine but they also do not give the teacher a chance to assess how much understanding your child/the rest of the class has. For example if nobody in the class (no STUDENTS) in the class can answer the question, then the teacher knows that she must revisit that concept so that the children will understand.

If your child makes a mistake let them know that it is ok, that nothing bad will happen. To let it go, to move on. If it is the same mistake being made over and over again then there is obviously an issue that needs to be worked out, but a slip does not need to have a spotlight put on it, especially for a child that is a perfectionist. Don’t worry – they KNOW they made a mistake. Help your child to see how well they did on the rest of the piece or phrase. Scott suggests to count the notes in the song and comment on the disparity between the number of correct notes and the number of mistakes.

If your child is afraid to start a new task ask “what is the worst thing that could happen if you try?” Help them to see that nothing terrible will happen if they don’t succeed at something today, that they can always try again tomorrow. Allow yourself to see that not everything has to be mastered at once.  Rejoice in the baby steps.

Know when enough is enough. If your child is becoming stressed when working at the keyboard or on their homework assignment, take a break and have a snack and come back to it later. If YOU are becoming frustrated, take a break, have a snack and come back to it later.

I wish all of you could have heard Clayton Scott speak. Her insight to the world of “the perfectionist” was bang on.  It was nice to hear that being a perfectionist about some things is ok but that if it begins to have a negative effect there are real steps you can take to help you or your child to relax a little and to enjoy the process of learning together.

When I was a teenager I wanted to learn to drive a standard. A friend agreed to teach me, but when my first question was “Do I have to put the clutch in to start the car?” He looked at me with disbelief that I could be so dense and immediately withdrew his offer to provide lessons. Clearly this guy was not cut out to be a teacher…I mean really…if I had never driven a standard, how was I supposed to know that the clutch had to be depressed?

When you are teaching a lesson you must assume that your student knows nothing and go from there. Whatever they do know is purely bonus.

I bring this up because every September as new classes begin some students and parents seem to be embarrassed that they don’t already understand what I am teaching. No embarrassment is necessary in my studio. It only prevents you from asking the important questions you need to have answered in order to fully understand what is being taught.

The whole point of taking a course is to learn something new. If you already understood music theory and could already play like a virtuoso, why would you need lessons at all?  You can bet that Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Elton John, Justin Bieber….all of them started out knowing nothing about music. Experience, practice and asking questions made them competent musicians.

Oh I did eventually learn to drive a standard. I found a patient teacher who was capable of answering my many questions….and I married him.  Now I prefer to drive a standard to an automatic.

So this year as classes begin I challenge you to remember that “you don’t know what you don’t know” and to open yourself to learning by asking questions, practicing hard and celebrating what you DO know!

Happy music making!

My hometown is  being highlighted in an outdoor theatrical production this summer. The St. Joseph historical society commissioned a talented area play-write,Paul Ciufo, to compose a script based on the story of Narcisse Cantin. You see, Cantin lived on the shore of Lake Huron in a french settlement with other families who had traveled from Quebec looking for good farm land and proserity. He began to build a wharf and develop a city which he named St. Joseph with the intention of building a huge canal so ships could cut across south-western Ontario. Well I am sure you can guess the outcome, especially if you have ever visited St Joseph. The story is phenomenal though and our director Duncan McGregor has put an amazing cast together…..but the music is what makes it all come to life!

Duncan and Paul decided early on to add some French Canadian folk songs to the production and with the help of a former Quebec resident they came up with some wonderful music to weave through the show. Fiddlers, singers, guitars, accordions, tin whistles, a flute, banjo and keyboard transports us back to the late 1800′s and immerse us in french culture.

For me the experience of learning these songs has been more than rehearsal of lines. My grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides inhabited St. Joseph. The songs we are singing are songs that they would have sung at parties and in the fields and kitchens while working.   

Having the chance to speak the native language of my family is a treat and I am so grateful for the chance to share that with my children. I am developing a greater understanding of my heritage and can’t help but feel closer to the members of my family who have passed on.

Do you know the music of your heritage? Do a search, ask your relatives. An important piece of you is just waiting to be discovered.

In the meantime I would love for you to learn more about mine. Visit www.narcissetheplay.com for more info about the show or to purchase tickets.

Before I continue, rest assured that she is home now and recovering.

My student, after having arrived at the hospital spent three days in and out of a drug induced coma in order to give her body a chance to rest and to heal. She had to fight through respiratory distress and pneumonia during this time. Doctors were afraid of how the episode and lack of oxygen may have affected her neurological function but once she was alert and speaking  (and after an MRI) that fear was put to rest. We had her back completely but with a huge fight ahead of her including heart surgery.

By this time, with a hospital transfer and surgery booked, my girls choir “The Cantabilettes” (which I run with a friend) was perparing for our upcoming spring concert. My student is also a choir member and the girls were feeling pretty low and none of us were very excited about performing while one of our members was fighting for her life. We all wanted to help but felt pretty helpless. My student too was experiencing a low as she began to understand what she had been through and what was to come.

The choir decided that we should turn our concert into a benefit to support our friend. We had less than a week to contact her school, find a venue, get the word out and polish up our repertoire. We ended up adding a bake sale to our concert and were overwhelmed by the generosity of  the community. Many volunteered their time and came to help set up or man the tables, many brought baked goods to donate, some volunteered their talent to add to our line-up of entertainment. Others brought flowers or offered to help with clean-up. In the end we were able to raise over $1600 to be shared by three organizations that had helped my student through her crisis: The Heart and Stroke Foundation, Ronald McDonald House and The Pediatric Critical Care Unit in London.

When news of the turn-out and details of the event reached the young girl who awaited heart surgery, she was filled with renewed strength to continue the fight to get well….and fight she did. She endured not one but two surgeries within 4 days of eachother. Imagine my surprise when just 36 hours after the second surgery I drove by her house to see her standing on the front lawn with her parents! I can’t describe the shock and relief that overcame me. After teary hugs and a short visit I couldn’t help but marvel at her speedy recovery. There is still some recovery time ahead, but she is home!

How can a young girl who has been through so much have been standing in front of me with a smile on her face, pink in her cheeks so soon after surgery? Only by the power of a community’s prayer, God’s divine mercy and the strength of one little girl who refused to let anything keep her down for long. I, for one, am inspired by her strength and courage.

Welcome home Em!

One of the hardest jobs for parents is to allow their children to do things on their own. Sometimes it is due to genuine fear that their child will be hurt (hesitation to let them climb a tree or over monkey bars or use scissors for the first time) other times parents are overcome by an uncontrollable need for perfection and other times it is a lack of patience. 

Check your apron strings…are they too tight??

In music class, your teacher provides many opportunities for your child to learn a new skill or to develop it. Cutting, pasting and colouring  or printing all build the fine motor skills needed for playing the piano. It is disheartening when I see parents take over the tasks that have been given – especially when the child is saying, “Mommy please can I do it!”.  Sometimes our children need help in the form of guidance, encouragement and for some tasks they may need physical help but it is so important to give them a chance to do things on their own. This is how they will learn.

We can also help our children by allowing them to listen carefully to instructions from their teacher and encouraging them to ask the teacher questions if they do not understand.  Too much instruction from mom or dad can lead to a lack of participation in class because the child knows mom or dad will just tell them what to do (or do it for them) later.

How can you support your child while still allowing room for exploration and growth?

• consider the reason behind each activity. (a task that involves cutting or colouring will undoubtedly be an opportunity for fine motor skill building. Perfectly cut out items or beautiful colouring are NEVER a requirement or a focus…NEVER! Let your child do the cutting and colouring.)
• it is important to remind your child to listen to the teacher’s instructions and for you to listen to them as well. While I love the enthusiasm of parents who try to explain things to their children in class, what often happens is children miss MY instructions because they are so focused on mom or dad and they lose out on the guided discovery I have carefully put together for them. It is important to help your child to focus on the teacher and to ask questions if they have missed important information or do not understand something.
• when working at the keyboard it is important to always focus on the music. Point to the notes. Help your child to track and to stay with the group. As soon as you point to the piano keys, your child will lose his/her spot and will no longer read the music, but will wait for you to show or tell them what keys to press.  If you lose your way, skip to the next bar – get ready and join in when the class gets  there.
• when playing a piece solo it is important to give your child the chance to self correct. Sometimes parents tell their child that a mistake has been made and even indicate the correct note before the child has even pressed the key!! Give your child a chance to realize their own mistake (it may not be until the end of that bar of music…) and to figure out where they went wrong before you step in to help. Self correction is one of the key signs of understanding. Watch for it…give time for it.

Parental involvement is the best part of MYC classes. When moms and dads are working with their child as a team, amazing things can happen! You are the key to your child’s success in class and at home. If you find that you are having difficulty being a support to your child without “taking over” please talk to your teacher. He/she will have many ideas to help you and your child make the most of class time and home practice time too! Go team!!

Pickiness is a sign of an excited teacher who knows that you can accomplish more. A picky teacher means you are doing your job as a student.

How to get your teacher to be MORE picky!

1. Read your lesson book – complete the assignments your teacher has carefully listed. You want a new list the next week…not a repeat of the same instructions!

2. Experiment with dynamics and pedaling.

3. Ask questions

4.Do more than asked…if your teacher asks you to master the RH, do that but then work at the LH as well.

5. Be open to suggestions and criticisms from your teacher. It isn’t a personal attack, it is how you can become an even better musician! Little feedback means you are not ready for the next step.

Three cheers to you if you have a picky teacher! You are on the right track!!

It is quite amazing how far you can walk in some mazes without realizing it. Imagine if the twists and turns were all unravelled and set end to end creating one long expanse of hallway. I guess you would be able to see all of the maze at once, including the exit, but would you want to walk all the way down that hallway to get to it, if you knew just how far you would have to walk?

Learning how to read and understand music is like walking through a maze. There is so much to learn. In fact, if parents and children had to look at all the information and work required to master an instrument, like an unravelled maze, few would venture to enter the music hallway at all.  This is why Music For Young Children has developed an amazing maze by which young children can learn the wonders of music one glorious mystery at a time.  Each section of the maze is short and enticing and leads you to a turn where a new exciting section is revealed.

The best part of the MYC maze is that it comes complete with a maze director-the teacher! It is my job to get you through the maze one section at a time, letting you know when to turn left and when to double back and journey through a section one more time for extra practice. The best maze directors do not reveal too much of the maze at one time. They allow their students to discover some of the treasures of the maze on their own. Sounds like a wonderful way to learn, doesn’t it? It is!

The other wonderful thing about the MYC maze is that every child has an adult guide – their parent. Adults are impatient creatures though, and sometimes we can’t bear to be confined by walls, unable to see where we are headed and can’t help but look over the walls to see the exit. We’d rather just climb over all of the obstacles and get to the end quickly. Or we want the maze director to give us all the directions at once.  Many times, parents ask for more information on a concept I am teaching in class. They want to know the why and how of concepts that would be difficult for young children to understand…making the wonderful, mysterious, exciting maze turn into a long, scary hallway 

As your maze director you can be confident that I am making sure your child is learning exactly what they need to know to get to the next turn of the maze and that when the time comes they will reach the part of the maze that explores each concept further until they reach full understanding and mastery…the “exit”!

How to be an expert maze guide. (ie effective music partner for your child)

• Listen attentively in class so you can help your child at home
• Offer assistance to your child only if they need it – allow them to develop listening and problem solving skills which lead to independence.
• Offer support when the going gets tough, be understanding and positive.
• If you find a concept interesting or confusing, talk to your teacher outside of class so she/he does not reveal too much maze to the children in the class.
• Trust your teacher. She/he is trained and qualified to get you through “the maze” and will teach concepts as they are relevant and when they can easily be understood by your child.
• Enjoy the journey! Getting there is half the fun! : )

I wondered out loud,” How could he get stuck?” It was the middle of the summer and the gravel was dry. “I bet he has his brake on,” I guessed.

My friend howled at this suggestion. “No way! Surely he would have checked that right away.”

After a few more minutes of watching this poor guy spin his tires, we both realized that he needed some assistance. My friend went and knocked on the driver’s window – he was so intent on getting out of the hole he had dug for himself he didn’t notice our approach – and suggested,”Perhaps you should check your brake.”

Five seconds later, the red faced gentlemen easily backed out of the parking area leaving two lovely craters behind.

I think we have all been a tire spinner at some point in our lives. Probably not in the same way as the poor gentleman on that warm summer’s day, but I know I can think of times in my own life when I was trying so hard to accomplish something while simultaneously (and sometimes unknowingly) holding myself  back.  I think that we can also unwittingly do this to our children at times as well.

Consider how the following examples could help or hinder your child’s progress.

GAS PEDAL -

• investing in lessons/classes  as well as books and materials 
• spending time weekly driving to or attending and participating in classes

BRAKES -

• purchasing a less than adequate instrument for practice or providing an instrument that is in disrepair (piano that hasn’t been tuned, keys that don’t work, improper stand or seating)
• comparing your child to another child in his/her class or level
• failing to encourage, allow time for, or enforce practice time
• placing more importance on other activities (even if this is unintentional…eg. skipping a semi annual recital to attend 1 in 30 hockey games of the season)
• providing a noisy, busy and distracting environment for practice
• losing/misplacing/forgetting books or other materials needed for class or practice time

The “brakes” I have listed aren’t meant to be a slap on the wrist or a guilt trip. Parents are entitled to spend their money and their time where they see fit and it is really none of my business.  However, I have, in the past,  had conversations with parents who are frustrated with their child’s progress only to discover that one or more brakes were part of the equation.  Disengage the brake and suddenly, the student can progress at a rapid rate. 

So what if your child is progressing well and ”brakes” aren’t an issue? You are ready for….

TURBO BOOSTERS-

• encourage participation in a festival or the completion of exams
• ask your teacher for links to online games/activities that reinforce learned concepts
• record your child playing at regular intervals so they can track their own progress
• offer incentives for reaching predetermined goals
• attend concerts with your child so they can witness the benefits of practice and perseverance
• celebrate accomplishments, invite friends and family to performances

We all want our children to succeed. If you feel your child is spinning their tires and just can’t seem to make any headway- check the brake.  A simple adjustment could make all the difference.

Happy music making!!